Trilogija bizarnog cirkusa: prvi dio - KLOVN
theatrebizarre | 04 Septembar, 2013 23:15Dobrodošao dragi čitaoče. Nadam se da si raspoložen za priče koje slijede, nimalo uobičajene, već čude, zbunjujuće i bizarne. Ah, pa naravno da jesi! Ko nije? Jer svima nam je potrebno malo fiktivne bizarnosti kako bi svakodnevni život izgledao sređenije i staloženije. Ali počuj ovo čitaoče - život, moj i tvoj, je mnogo čudniji i zastrašujući od bilo koje priče koju ti pripovijedam. Tu se kriju prava čudovišta ispod kreveta, babaroge i vještice. No zaboravimo to na tren, i uživajmo u čudesnoj melodiji, smijehu mase, urliku lavova ispod šarenog šatora, mirisu kokica i šećerne vune jer...
...Cirkus je stigao u grad! Odzvanjalo je Staffordom dok su njegovi stanovnici sa prozora svojih domova znatiželjno posmatrali neuobičajenu paradu koja se protezala Main streetom. Žongleri, krotitelji zvijeri, akrobate, divovski slonovi prolazili su širokom ulicom gradića u mozaiku zvukova, boja i nasmijanih lica koja su mahala prema oduševljenim pogledima, pozivajući ih da prisustvuju predstavi kakvu još nisu vidjeli.
Povorka se uputila ka obali rijeke, na izlazu iz grada, gdje je bilo dovoljno mjesta sa sve njene članove. Kraj rijeke je preko noći nikao novi grad, šaren i bučan, pun novih zvukova i našminkanih lica. Bezbroj manjih šatora okruživalo je jedan, mnogo veći, u kome će se u narednih sedam dana svake večeri održavati nezapamćen spektakl, spektakl koji će dugo biti urezan u sjećanje stanovnika Stafforda.
***
- "Mama sutra idemo u cirkus, zar ne?"
- "Vidjećemo Mikey", odgovori mu, dok je zamišljeno sjekla povrće i ubacivala ga u šerpu sa ključalom vodom. Mike nije bio zadovoljan odgovorom.
- "Ali obećala si mi!", reče razočarano dok je gledao u svoju majku. Ona mu uzvrati pogledom punim ljubavi, ali i zabrinutosti, pogledom kakvim samo majka može gledati svoje dijete. Blago mu se nasmiješi. -"Obećanje je obećanje", nevoljno mu odgovori.
Mike je odjurio u svoju sobu, uzbuđen što će sutra, napokon, otići sa majkom na obalu rijeke i prisustvovati nezaboravnom događaju o kome je toliko slušao. Pokušao je da čita neku dosadnu knjigu, ali je odustao kada je shvatio da već pola sata gleda u istu stranicu. Jedino o čemu je ovaj desetogodišnjak razmišljao bio je - cirkus. Već je šest dana u gradu i sutra je posljednja noć prije nego sto šatori nestanu, muzika utihne a šarena lica postanu samo blijedi duhovi njegovog sjećanja. Ali Mike je natjerao mamu da mu obeća da će sedmog dana i oni uživati u čarima ovog nesvakidašnjeg svijeta pored obale rijeke.
Pokušao je da zaspi, ali se nervozno vrtio u krevetu.
- "Ne spava mi se", htio je da odgovori majci nakon što mi je rekla da je vrijeme za krevet, ali u strahu da će ga to koštati sutrašnje posjete cirkusu, ugrizao se za jezik, u tihom neslaganju obukao pidžamu i pokušao da natjera san na oči kako bi jutro što prije stiglo.
Nije bio siguran da li je to san, potisnuto sjećanje ili predskazanje, ali je znao da gleda sa svog prozora na ulicu dok njom prolazi povorka akrobata, mađioničara, žonglera i egzotičnih životinja, a znatiželjni pogledi Stafforda sa oduševljenjem posmatraju sa okolnih prozora. Šarenilo Main streeta izmami mu osmijeh na lice, i Mike je ponovo uživao u savršenoj reprizi dana kada je cirkus stigao u grad. Posmatrao je ista lica, čuo je istu veselu melodiju koja je polako jenjavala dok se povorka kretala ka obali. Rijeka čudnih lica je polako nestajala, a sa njom i polet koji je izazvala u posmatračima. Prozori su se, jedan po jedan, zatvarali i ljudi su se vraćali svojim životima i obavezama koji oni nose. Svi osim Mikea.
Posmatrao je osobu koja je stajala na, sad već potpuno pustoj, ulici. Bio je to Klovn. Ali ne običan klovn, kao oni koji su prošli sa paradom. Odjeća na njemu bila je stara, pocijepana sa izgorjelim dijelovima kroz koje se mogla vidjeti crna, spaljena koža. Opekotina je prekrivala desnu polovinu njegovog lica na kojoj nije bilo oka, već samo crna šupljina. Ostatak lica, koji je bio je prekriven razmazanom šminkom, se grčio u neprirodan osmijeh koji je ledio krv u žilama. Pramenovi crvene kose, koji su virili ispod starog cilindra, su lagano treperili na suvom, ljetnjem povjetarcu punom prašine.
Vazduh je postajao zagušljiviji dok se Mike borio za dah. Par trenutaka kasnije gust dim ispuni njegovu sobu, ali i cijeli grad, i on osjeti vrelinu na svojoj koži. Pepeo ga je gušio, ispunjavao mu pluća i tjerao na kašalj. Oči su mu suzile, ali je ipak posmatrao Klovna koji je lagano nestajao u oblaku crnog dima. Tada se probudio.
***
- "Mama požuri, zakasnićemo!", vikao je dok je, trčeći niz stepenice, oblačio svoju omiljenu plavu ljetnu jaknu. U hodniku ga je dočekala majka, već spremna, sa osmjehom na licu jer ju je zabavljao njegov entuzijazam.
Šetnja do obale rijeke, gdje se nalazio cirkus, nije bila duga ali Mikeu se učinila kao da traje čitavu vječnost. Žurio je, ali nije znao zbog čega. Nije mogao da uživa u toplom ljetnom predvečerju ispunjenom zvukom crvčaka i žumorom prolaznika koji su se, baš kao i on, uputili ka rijeci. Čak je zaboravio i noćnu moru, strah koji ga je ispunio kada se probudio i činjenicu da nakon toga više nije mogao spavati. Zaboravio je i protekli dan i dane prije njega. Sve se pomiješalo u vrtlog nebitnih minulih sjećanja, snova isprepletenih sa javom i izbrisanom granicom između njih. Bio je bitan samo - cirkus. Iako je znao da se prepušta opsesiji koja prevazilazi granice normalnog, Mike nije mogao da se izbori sam sa sobom. Iz oluje misli ga povrati slika koju je ugledao ispred sebe. Stigli su.
Mike se našao okružen šatorima, tezgama sa nagradnim igrama, hranom i igračkama. Miris kokica i šećerne vune se uvukao u svaki ćošak i ispunio noć. Smijeh djece, ali i odraslih, je nadglasavala samo vesela muzika koja je dopirala sa svih strana. Mikeu je trebalo vremena da se privikne na ovaj napad na čula, i u trenutku se borio za svijest. A onda, ispred sebe, je ugledao šarenog diva u čijoj utrobi boravi misterija. Polako ali sigurno ušao je u šator, čvršće stisnuvši majčinu ruku.
***
Cirkuske tačke smjenjivale su se jedna za drugom, svaka napetija i interesantnija od druge. Mike je izgubio pojam o vremenu, u potpunosti se predao akrobatima koji sa lakoćom prelijeću sa jednog trapeza na drugi, mađioničarima koji presijecaju svoje lijepe pomoćnice na pola a zatim ih ponovo sastavljaju bez problema i krotiteljima koji stavljaju glave u lavlje čeljusti. Uživao je u ostvarenju svoga sna. Tada je čuo najavu: - "Molim jedan veliki aplauz za klovnove!". Publika je bučno odreagovala na smiješne spodobe u neobičnoj odjeći i džinovskim cipelama. Klovnovi su zasmijavali publiku svojim trikovima, padovima sa bicikla i nespretnim međusobnim prepirkama. Svi su se smijali. Svi osim Mikea.
Na središtu okrugle pozornice stajao je on - Klovn iz njegovog sna. Ili sjećanja. Ili predskazanja. Zbunjivalo ga je to što je ovaj Klovn dosta drugačiji od drugih, kao i to što samo stoji gledajući pravo u Mikea. Ali najviše ga je čudilo što niko ne reaguje na njegovo prisustvo, ni publika kao ni klovnovi sa pozornice. Izgleda da je Mike jedini koji ga vidi. Sada je još bolje vidio opekotinu na njegovom licu, spaljeni kostim i oprženu kožu, prorijeđenu crvenu kosu i taj neljudski, prodorni osmijeh. Klovn lagano iskrivi usta, kao da pokušava nešto da kaže. Mike se napinjao da pročita riječ sa njegovih usana, ali mu je ona izmicala. Posmatrao je micanje njegovih beživotnih usana, hipnotisan njegovim praznim pogledom. Tada mu postade jasno - šaputao je: Vatra.
- "Vatra! Vatra!" neko je povikao dok su se klovnovi na sceni i dalje glupirali. Prošlo je par trenutaka prije nego što su se svi okrenuli ka zvuku koji je dopirao od ulaza u šator. Neko je panično vikao, pokušavajući da upozori na požar koji je zahvatio šator. Upozorenje je došlo trenutak kasno. Vatra se brzo širila šatorom, proždirući velikom brzinom njegovo platno i potporne drvene grede. Publikom je zavladala panika. Stampedo uplašenih ljudi pojuri ka jedinom izlazu, a haos koji je uslijedio rastavi Mikea od majke. Ostao je sam i preplašen dok su se dijelovi šatora urušavali, a dim postajao gust i crn dok mi je pepeo punio pluća i tjerao na kašalj. Sve mu se činilo kao da je zarobljen u nekom snu koji nema kraja. Pao je na koljena i počeo puzati prema izlazu.
***
Stajao je na zgarištu nekadašnjeg divovskog šarenog šatora. Posmatrao je vatrogasce i stanovnike Stafforda kako gase i posljednje ostatke vatre. Sunce je već bacalo prve zrake na obalu i tada je shvatio da su prošli sati od požara. Zora je otkrivala strahovite posljedice sinoćneg događaja. Većina malih šatore je takođe izgorjela, a vatra je uzela dosta ljudskih života. Okrenuo se i iza sebe ugledao Klovna koji mu se lagano primicao.
Klovn iz njegovih snova stajao je tik ispred njega. Gledali su se nekoliko momenata prije nego što je Mike progovorio.
- "Ja sam mrtav, zar ne?", tiho progovori, "Umro sam u požaru". Klovn ništa ne progovori, već samo nijemo pokaza na malo tijelo u spaljenoj plavoj ljetnoj jakni kako leži ispod ostataka drvene grede.
- "A i ti si mrtav", ponovo će Mike staloženim glasom, "Ali zbog čeka smo obojica još ovdje?", upita on.
- "Zbog toga što svaka duša koja umre ovdje postaje dio cirkusa", napokon će Klovn suvim glasom, suvljim od spaljenog vazduha koji udišu. Mike je na trenutak zastao, a onda se sageo, uzeo prašnjavi, crveni okrugli nos sa ugljenisanih ostataka koji su ležali pored njegovog tjela u plavoj jakni, i stavio ga na svoje lice. Prišao je Klovnu i uhvatio ga za spaljenu ruku, podigao glavu i pogledao ga u crnu, beživotnu duplju.
- "Hoću i ja da budem klovn", reče dok je uzvraćao osmijeh svom novom prijatelju.
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1. idzi | 09/21,2013 at 14:18
Bizarno, nego šta.
Jadan dečak :(
2. theatrebizarre | 09/21,2013 at 14:39
@idzi Nemoj da ti bude zao Mikea, njemu je lijepo sa Klovnom :)
3. beliocnjakx | 09/21,2013 at 14:50
insliracija Stiven King ? :)
4. beliocnjakx | 09/21,2013 at 14:51
pardon, inspiracija :D
5. theatrebizarre | 09/21,2013 at 15:03
@beliocnjakx Da znas da sam citao Kinga u zadnje vrijeme, i kad sam poceo pisati uhvatio sam se kako opisujem Pennywisea :D u svakom slucaju King je odlicna inspiracija :)
6. idzi | 09/21,2013 at 15:18
Mora mi biti žao.. malo.
Treći deo, odraz ne smem čitati.. pošto se danas ceo dan bavim ogledalima a i bojim se pomalo... ;)
7. theatrebizarre | 09/21,2013 at 15:22
@idzi Ma procitaj slobodno, necu da ti kvarim ali nije toliko strasan ;)
8. beliocnjakx | 09/21,2013 at 19:13
dobro ti ide, samo napred :)
ima nešto u klovnovima što izaziva jezu, ne znam zašto, valjda zbog onog njihovog blesavog osmeha pa još ako ima kvarne zube onda je prava fešta :))
9. theatrebizarre | 09/21,2013 at 19:48
@beliocnjakx hvala ti puno, bas mi je drago kad se ljudima svidja to sto napisem :)
Klovnovi su i meni uvijek bili jezivi, ne strasni, vec jezivi - a to je jos gore :)
10. idzi | 09/21,2013 at 20:20
a meni vračare i ogledala ;)
11. theatrebizarre | 09/21,2013 at 20:31
@idzi Nadam se da ti se dopao i treci dio, uprkos ogledalima ;)
12. idzi | 09/21,2013 at 20:40
Nisam smela da pročitam... još uvek ne smem..
Sutra ću preko dana kad ne budem sama i kad ne budem imala potrebu da se sretnem sa ogledalom...
Pročitala sam samo uvod i bilo mi je dovoljno da shvatim da nije pravi momenat za tu priču..
13. theatrebizarre | 09/21,2013 at 20:48
@idzi ma nije toliko strasna ;) kad smognes snage da procitas javi mi utiske :)
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